MY KIDS AND ME - Chapter 17

“When I was a Child”

Are you young enough to remember the details of your childhood? Well, I’m sure there are few ladies reading this book who are older than I am. But I can still remember vivid details of my childhood. I’ve never studied up on this, but I wonder why there are minute details of when I was a child that are as vivid as though they had happened yesterday.

I have a picture in my mind of the sandals my cousin, Becky had when I wasn’t yet 5 years old. I can close my eyes and see the green, red, yellow and blue straps; and I liked them so much that just before my Uncle Paul pulled out of the drive after their visit, she took them off and gave them to me.

I can remember what it felt like to crawl up into my “Mammie’s” lap…the name everyone called my maternal grandmother…and the security of hearing her heartbeat as she held me close, and rocked me to sleep in her squeaky rocking chair. I couldn’t possibly have been more than four.

I remember smells…and sounds…and verses I quoted in a Christmas play. I remember the face of my first grade teacher, and the name of the little boy who got me in trouble by passing me “love” notes.

And I remember feelings I had…when I was a child.

I remember feelings of love, and fun, and excitement.

I remember joy over seeing my baby brother for the first time, and I remember getting my first reader…both on the same day!

But I also remember negative feelings… I remember the feeling of almost terror the day I missed the school bus; and the wonderful sight of Granddaddy waiting for me in the drive when my teacher drove me home; the feeling of regret when I would disobey; anger when my brother wouldn’t help me with the dinner dishes; sadness the day Granddaddy died; fear when seeing “Santa Claus” walk into our living room on Christmas Eve, even though he was a neighbor everyone called “Heavy.”

But perhaps the greatest emotion carried over from when I was a child is this feeling of rejection…this outside feeling.

Ever felt left out of things? Do you ever feel like you’re not young enough, or old enough, or good enough? There are few feelings as strong as those of not feeling accepted. We all want to be loved and admired and included.

When I was a child, I was a preacher’s kid. Back in the 50’s, that wasn’t the respectable position it is today. I can remember hearing so many times the cutting words, “Oh, you can’t do this, because you’re a preacher’s kid.” I wanted to run away, even though Daddy would comfort me by saying, “Being a preacher’s kid doesn’t mean you can’t do certain things…if you were a deacon’s kid, or a mechanic’s kid, it still wouldn’t be right for you to participate in those activities.”

But this is a book about MY kids…and me. What did I learn from them regarding being left outside?

I have a son whose birth order is right in the middle of four girls. And just to add to his misery, he is the youngest of four boys. Because of this, he was too little…or so his three brothers thought…to be included in their activities. He didn’t want to be included in the activities of little girls. So talk about being outside! He should be writing this chapter!

Do you have a child in a difficult position because of his birth order, or her size? Or maybe it’s their lack of the ability to achieve.

Well, this is not a book of advice on how to raise children, is it? Remember my promise to you at the first of the book?

But looking back, if there is something I could observe, as if floating on a cloud above my life back then, and if I could have shouted down some words of advice learned over more than ten years of my non-child-rearing days, it would be the same advice I would give to anyone coping with feelings of “not good enough, or old enough, or young enough, or brave enough.”

Learn to accept.

Isn’t that simple? Learn to accept yourself and others, whether it’s your sister in law, or your 15 year-old son.

God does. We are “accepted in the beloved,” aren’t we?

Always trying to change your hubby? Well, neither is this a marriage manual, but are there attitudes toward your husband that sometimes make him feel like he’s outside your circle of activities, or friends or family?

I believe if I could go back over my life, thinking of all my relationships, not just as a Mom, but as a wife, a sister, a mother in law, I would be more accepting. Even now, there are people in my life I wish I could change…not exchange; but I find myself wishing they were more considerate; or more involved in certain activities; or less aggressive; or not so demanding of my time.

I wish they didn’t complain as much; I wish they were more outgoing; I wish their hair was shorter; I wish they wouldn’t take themselves so seriously.

That pretty much sums up my attitude of an almost-lifetime.

How sad!

Makes me wonder how many hours of enjoyment I’ve missed.

I don’t want to spend another day wishing for changes. I want to “…put away childish things,” and accept others just the way they are…

just the way God does me.

“To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.”…

Ephesians 1:6

Prayer Letter - June 2013

Words fail me to express the joy I feel this afternoon to be writing this from my beloved home in Chiapas. After two months of traveling, I am finally home! One more trip to Chicago, and I’m through traveling for this year!

I never want to turn into a grumpy old lady, always complaining about my lot in life. So, although I got tired and weary…and homesick…during the months of April and May, I must emphasize the blessings I received while I was away. Where do I start?

Well, first of all, two personal blessings: within a week, during the month of April, I received the happy news that I have the births of two little grandbabies to look forward to in the coming months: David and Jolene are expecting their 5th baby, and Philip and Liz will be blessed with their fourth little one. Personally, I’m praying for girls this time, since I have 20 grandsons, and only 17 granddaughters.

Since my April letter, I have spoken 32 times in various ladies’ meetings:  Chaparral, NM, where my son, Joel and his wife, Margaret serve. The little apartment behind their house literally provided an “oasis in the desert” during my travels. Then it was on to the Dallas area, where I spoke to the ladies in Bro. Francisco Mendoza’s church. His wife, Jessica, and the ladies there treated me royally. While I was there, I was honored to get to attend Open Door Baptist Church, and see Pastor Robert Ross and his sweet wife, Cathe. I was invited to speak to their teen girls that afternoon.

I got to attend the Missions’ Conference in Immanuel Baptist Church in Decatur, TX, where I enjoyed fellowshipping with Pastor and Mrs. Horton, and the precious members there. A few days later, I flew to Guadalajara to speak in a Conference for Bro. Bob Murillo, and his sweet wife, Joy. My brother Tommy Ashcraft was one of the speakers. Although our visit was very brief, it was one of the highlights of my trip.

A new experience for me was the interview via Skype by missionary wife, Laura Consford. She and her husband, Joe, are missionaries in Africa.  It was fun getting to relate to her my experiences from over fifty years of living on the mission field. This is a very unique online ministry called “Missionary on Fire.” (You can listen to that interview or read it by clicking here.)

There were two ladies saved where I spoke for Silvia Campana in Ciudad Juárez on May 10; and during my travels, I was able to personally counsel with three ladies from different churches. The unusual and blessed thing about that is that all three ladies took my advice, and I was able to see changes in their relationships.

I had so much fun in Haines City, Florida, where I spoke to ladies in Pastor Jorge Armendáriz’ Church. His wife, Karina drove me to the lovely house where I stayed, and enjoyed living in the lap of luxury during my visit there. I got to meet Karen Gaudette, the other speaker, and we stayed there together, and had as much fun as a couple of teenagers.

To end my trip, I flew to Mexico City, where beautiful Rosie Ramírez and a lady from her church picked me up at the airport, and drove me through the rain to Cuernavaca. She and her husband, Pastor Alejandro Ramírez outdid themselves catering to all my needs. My daughter, Ruthie joined me there; and I was able to see my friend, Francie Taylor, who was also a speaker, and meet her beautiful young friend, Cindy.

What a blessing it is to serve the Lord…all of us in so many, many different ways.

Billie Sloan
Nahum 1:7

Prayer letter - April 2013

For the PDF printable version of this letter, click here.

Dear friends:

I’m writing this from 41,000 feet above sea level, somewhere between Los Angeles and El Paso.  I really can’t honestly say I enjoy leaving my home in Chiapas, but as long as I’m invited by pastors and their wives who think I can be a blessing to their ladies, I will do my best to do so.

It was my honor to have spoken at the annual Ladies’ Conference in Montecito Baptist Church, Pastor Ezequiel Salazar, April 5th and 6th in Ontario, California.  I also got to meet and spend special time with Mrs. Francie Taylor, and Mrs. Jo Jo Moffitt.  Thank you, Hermana Miriam, for inviting me, and for treating me royally.

From Ontario, I flew to San Jose and not only did I enjoy special time with my son, David, Jolene, and their four children, but I got to see first hand a couple of days of their routine as I followed them around, mainly on the campus of Golden State Baptist College, where they are serving with Pastor Jack Trieber.  I was honored to get to speak for a few minutes in David’s Israel class, and then teach his mission’s class.  But one of the highlights of my three day visit was getting to lead an 85 year old Panamanian lady to the Lord in her hospital room, possibly on her death bed.

In my beloved San Cristóbal, in the month of February, two sisters of one of the faithful men in our church were saved...one of them after hearing a message on one of the broadcasts from our radio station.

What a joy it was to be able to fly to the beautiful island of Puerto Rico in February, and speak in the Ladies’ Conference of Bro. Mike Casillas.  I made precious, unforgettable memories with him and his sweet wife, Linda.  Also, I was honored to get to share my testimony in the Sunday evening service in the church of the late Pastor Hernán Cortes.  It was a blessing to see his two sons carrying on the work of their father.

At our February Ladies’ Prayer Breakfast, the mother of our city mayor was present.  She is serving as her son’s First Lady, since his wife prefers being a stay-at-home mom to their little children.  I like that!

It was also a blessing to get to speak at a ladies' breakfast March 23 in the church of Bro. Dan Morris, and spend special time with his wife, Debbie.  They are dear friends and co-laborers of many, many years in the capitol city of Tuxtla, about an hour from San Cristóbal.

By the time I write my next prayer letter, I will have spoken to ladies in New Mexico, Texas, Guadalajara, Ciudad Juárez, Florida, and Cuernavaca.  Then it’s Home Sweet Home to Chiapas until June, when I fly to Chicago for a Family Conference.

Thank you for your prayers for my safety, for strength, and especially that I will be a blessing to precious ladies, as they always are to me.

Your friend,
Billie Sloan
Nahum 1:7

Two New Grandbabies

My two newest grandbabies, whose pictures have not yet been shared here:

(picture taken of Emily at 4 months of age)

Emily Ruth Martinez

Born August 31, 2012

6 lbs. 13 oz.

Born to Ulises and Elizabeth Martinez

 Thomas Gregory Lopez

January 18, 2013

Born to Andrew and Anna Lopez

Prayer Letter - February 2013

Two months of this New Year have flown by. Time is a treasure God gives to us, and one of my desires for 2013 is to spend mine in such a way that lives will be changed, and God will be glorified.

The months of December and January were busy ones for me:

Besides the fact that 5 of my children and their families (30 altogether) were here for Christmas, on the 6^th – 8^th of December, I was invited to participate in a Home School Conference in my son in law, Ulises Martinez’s church in the little town of Ixtapa. What a blessing it was to sit outside in the cool mornings, and enjoy a relaxing breakfast that the ladies had prepared before beginning the sessions! Truly this is one of the most thriving, remarkable works I have ever seen.

Here in San Cristóbal, on the 15^th, I was honored to have been invited to speak at a Widow’s Breakfast. Do you think God has a special purpose for widows? I’m thankful He does, and I shared those honors with my friends, using Ruth and Naomi as examples for us.

What an amazing ministry our radio station has been! Every week people, and at times families, visit our church because of having heard the broadcasts. Alicia was one of those ladies who not only attended my Sunday school class on December 16, but was saved that morning. One of the highlights of my week is my Friday morning program for ladies.

What a Happy Birthday gift I received on December 30: my son, Tommy, got to baptize his and Mona’s little daughter, Esther.

It is a joy to have Tommy come in during the week, to tell me of the men he has led to the Lord: like a man whose wife has been attending for a while. He came out for Saturday morning visitation, and went into Tommy’s office and was saved. Fifteen minutes later, he was out with Tommy and the men on visitation!

On January 18, God sent Andrés and Anna, my daughter, a precious gift: little Thomas Gregory, named after his two grandfathers, was born. Thank the Lord for my 37^th grandchild!

At our Ladies’ Prayer Breakfast January 30, we had a new First Lady to attend. She is the wife of a former mayor of a little village where our church started a work last year. Her heart was touched that we would honor those ladies in special ways. The wife of an army colonel also made the same comment.

Things accomplished? No, I have only shared ways God has proved His faithfulness in the work here, and in my life. I do so little for Him, Who gave His all for me. But I long to do more for Him this year than I did last year.

Your friend,

Billie Sloan

Nahum 1:7

"There is a Place"

“And Abraham gat up early in the morning to the place where he stood before the Lord:”

Genesis 19:27

As I sit here this morning, my mind occasionally wanders across the hall to where my daughter is sleeping. “Will this be the day?” is the question we all seem to be asking each other…her siblings, the ladies in the church, and me, her Mom! You know the feeling, if you’ve ever awaited the birth of a baby…when will he/she come?

And while we all feel excitement, there is a bit of anxiety on Anna’s face, because she is a detailed person, and wants everyone to be in their place when her little boy decides to make his appearance. To comfort me, more than her, actually, I told her the other day, “Anna, when your time comes, God will have everyone in their place.”

When I think of Abraham, I think of an elderly gentleman, way past my age.  We don’t know about Abraham’s youth.  We meet him in Genesis 11:26, when he was known as Abram.  I’m not a Bible scholar.  All I know about the Bible I’ve learned by reading it, hearing it preached and taught, and studying it.  I hesitate at times, for that reason, to write lessons and devotionals because I fear making applications that don’t really apply.  But when I’m reading my Bible, and a lesson or a truth comes to me, it begs to be shared.  And so I share this simple, plain truth with you.

I’m sitting at my little desk in my bedroom.  This is the place where I do my writing, while my daughter in law, Mona, is remodeling my office down the hall.  I also e-mail.  But I have a special e-mail place.  It’s in the corner of my living room, in my recliner, of all places, with my computer placed in front of me on the coffee table, which isn’t really a coffee table at all.  It’s a bigger-than-a-coffee-table table.  But it serves its purpose perfectly, because I can easily accommodate my books, pens, and my computer.  It’s here that I get the best internet connection. This corner of my living room also has tall windows all across the wall facing the morning sun. So I love pulling back the curtains, and letting the sunshine warm my little corner of the world while I work.  That’s my e-mailing place.

So here I am writing this devotional about something so practical, so mundane that you would hardly relate it to anything spiritual.  But it is.  At least it is for me.  I want to help all my readers, just as I have been helped by this truth.  “There is a place where you should be.”

Do you remember what had transpired shortly before Genesis 19:27?  The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah had just been destroyed by fire and brimstone.  Because of Genesis 18:22, one can assume that standing before the Lord was a regular occurrence in Abraham’s life.  “…but Abraham stood yet before the Lord.”  I believe Abraham had a certain place where he met God on a regular basis.

There is a place where I meet with the Lord.  It seems to be the perfect place for me to sit while I drink my coffee, and have my prayer time every morning.  I’ve tried other places, and sometimes I’m forced to move out of my special place to another one, when I’m away from home.  But if I’m in a home, or a hotel, or a mission apartment for a few days, I find another special place, just perfect for my prayer time.

But this is the truth I learned recently, and I’d like to share it with you.

If you have something to do, and you don’t know how to start, get to the place where you would be if you knew what to do.  If you know what to do, but you don’t want to undertake a task, or if you don’t want to carry out a responsibility, get to the place where you would be if you wanted to work.

I’m a morning person…a very early morning person.  I am a mom, a grandmother, and a homemaker. But I’m also a writer.  If you’ve never written, perhaps you don’t know that the kind of writing you’re reading right now has to be inspired, or you won’t read it.  I have deadlines.  I have lessons to teach to my Sunday school class, and to ladies’ sessions at conferences, and my monthly prayer breakfast, and my weekly ladies’ radio broadcast.  I’ve experienced writer’s block, a time when absolutely nothing comes to my little mind.

But I’ve learned this great truth, and I’m going to share it with you.  This is what I do:  I get to the place where I should be, right here where I am.  Sometimes I take a while getting my desk cleared of all my work from the day before.  I turn on my computer.   While it’s warming up, so is my brain as I get my coffee and settle in my chair.  My aim is my desk.  Just by simply being in the place I should be is a great start.  Get to your place, and tell the Lord, “Lord, here I am.  I’m in the place where I should be.”  And He’ll help you complete that pile of ironing, or that homework, or He’ll guide you as you knock doors.  But you have to be in the place.

Writing calls for quiet and concentration.  In order to speak to your heart, my words must come from mine.  At least for me, writing is a spiritual activity.  I ask the Lord to prepare my heart for the writing task ahead.  But moving the body to a chair, or a street, or putting up your ironing board and plugging in your iron is a very physical no-brainer activity.  Put yourself in the place you should carry out a certain activity, and the Lord will guide you successfully.

If you’re a mother of little ones, teach this principle to your children while they’re still young. Ever heard the saying, “A place for everything, and everything in its place,”? That’s a great principle to apply when your house is a mess.

This may not seem like a great revelation to you, but it could be; and I would hope it is.  For instance, do you hate getting up in the mornings like I do?  If you apply this truth from Abraham of old, it will be a great motivator.  If you’re under the cover, and you should have your feet on the floor, it’s obvious you will never be in the place you should be until you move yourself out of bed.  At 5:00 or 6:00 in the morning, who’s going to be reasoning?  I know. But as Dr. Jim Vineyard said one time, “Move your body, and your brain will follow.”

Are you trying to diet?  I’ve heard that successful dieters have a certain place to eat.  It’s not in front of the TV or at their desk, or in bed.  Most people who are disciplined enough to avoid food at those three places are probably disciplined enough to control their food intake, also.

Think of something you don’t want to do, something you dread maybe every day.  Tell yourself, “All I have to do is get myself to the place where this activity should take place,” and then just simply get there.

I hate shopping for groceries, for several reasons.  I can think of a million things I can be doing at home, for one.  But I also know the consequences of going to do laundry, and the detergent container being empty.  So I know this is an important chore in my life.  I’ve found that if all my morning routine revolves around simply getting myself out the door, and into the car, once I’m out the gate, I actually enjoy my little outing.

Up until now, this has been a motivational speech.  “How to Get Things Done When You Don’t Want to do Them.”  But there’s a more serious side to this lesson.

Are you in the place where God wants you?

My place when I was a single young woman was at home with my parents.  I enjoyed helping in the mission work, and being Daddy’s secretary.  I enjoyed teaching, and I loved visitation and soul winning.

But once I was married, my place was with my husband.  If you’re a mom, your special place is with your children, in your home.  I know ladies who spend more time outside their home than inside it.  And they’re never happy.  They’re always looking for new activities outside the four walls of their own home.  Unless you’re a single, working mom, you should spend more time at home than away from home. And even at that, there are many ways a woman can earn money from inside her home.

When our children were small, my husband and I lived in a little village for five years.  We lived outside the little town, up on a hill.  We would drive through the main street, which wasn’t paved, up the hill to our home, which was also home to fifty young men.  We lived for most of those five years in a little travel trailer, until we wrecked it, and moved into a section of the dorm/chapel building.  I have stayed for six weeks without leaving the property.  My husband would make a trip once a week to the nearest town and bring in supplies for the week.  I don’t remember being bored and I don’t remember feeling unfulfilled.  I took joy in caring for my children, and my simple little home.  I stayed busy as busy could be cleaning, cooking, washing, and preparing my children’s Sunday school class.  There were no pressures, no one to compare myself or my children or my husband with.  There was a place where I was supposed to be, and I was there.

I’ll have to admit the hardest years of my married life were the first few years we lived in the mountain valley I call home.  But because I was in the place where God wanted my husband to be, I was also where He wanted me to be.

It isn’t good for a husband to live and work in a place apart from his wife.  I know military obligations make the exception for this.  Sometimes I read of an evangelist who must travel, and be away from home for weeks at a time.  It’s always a blessing to hear that although perhaps the living conditions are not as delightful as one’s own home, he manages for her and the children to travel with him, so that she can still be in the place where God wants her, at her husband’s side.

Three simple steps to un-complicating your life, and living it more pleasing to the Lord:

1. Acknowledge this principle: there is a place where you should be.
2. Arrange everything in your life toward getting there.
3. Get there.
4. Do what you should do once you’re there.

I’m a very simple person, and I have simple ways and simple thoughts.  Sometimes my life gets so complicated.  But things suddenly fall “into place” if I go back to this one basic truth:  be in the place where you should be, carrying out your tasks and responsibilities.

I once heard a great preacher make this statement:  “I’m glad there is a place where I should be, a time I should be there, and something I should do after I arrive.”

There is a place for you, too.

Prayer Letter - December 2012

As I look back over this past year, I can be nothing but thankful for all of God’s blessings, not only in my ministry, and the ministry of the Church here, but in my personal life: the birth of two new grandbabies, and the spiritual birth of three more. The joy of knowing now that 14 of my 36 grandchildren are saved should be reason enough to rejoice. And I do!

I’m going to count my blessings: The radio ministry, “Compassion Radio”, is reaching countless souls with the Gospel, broadcasting 24 hours a day. I could dedicate this entire prayer letter to counting the blessings of this ministry alone. Almost every week we have visitors attend our services, because of listening to the broadcasts.  Just yesterday, Tommy came into my office, and said, “Mom, I want you to come out and meet a couple who traveled two hours because they heard the broadcast. They just got saved!” A trucker who comes within range of the station during his runs, offering to drive someone to his house about 5 hours from here to talk to him and his wife so their marriage can be restored. If you have any part in this ministry, it’s only fair that you know the returns from your sacrifice. And if you don’t have a part already, I challenge you to invest your money and your prayers into something that will not return void.

The first of November it was my joy to travel to California to participate in a Ladies’ Conference at the Coast Hills Baptist Church. Pastor Bud Silva and Sandy are such gracious people, and made me feel like a queen. What a sweet time of fellowship we had, as they drove me the three hours back to Los Angeles the night before for an early flight the next morning. Thank you, Pastor and Mrs. Silva for the precious memories made. A special blessing: my daughter in law, Jolene, was also a speaker, so I spent some special family time with her and David, and my four grandchildren.

Thank you for your prayers and financial support for our 14th Annual Christmas Banquet this year. When my brother, Tommy Ashcraft, gave the invitation, two ladies were saved. One of them was at church the following Sunday morning with her teenage son, and last Sunday they were back with her husband.

I want my Christmas to be special this year, and keep the Lord Jesus as the focus of all the festivities. I want my shopping to take second place to my offerings to my church; as I prepare the dressing for the turkey, I want to sing Christmas carols with a joyful heart; when the feelings of depression threaten to remind me of eight years ago when God took my dear husband, I’ll remember our children he left behind for me to enjoy, and the 22 more grandbabies God has sent down in those 8 years. Although I’ll grieve over those who are not here, I’ll focus on those who surround me, and others far less blessed than I am, because they don’t know the Savior. May you, too have a Special Christmas, and a Blessed New Year!

Billie Sloan                                                                                                                          Nahum 1:7