"Doors"

“Set a watch, oh Lord, before my mouth;

keep the door of my lips.”

Psalm 141:3

I’m writing this at the beginning of the New Year, and I have just gone through my very favorite time of the year: Christmas.During that jolly season, my house was full of my children and their families:  24, to be exact. When I’d go into my bedroom and close my door, I would feel something akin to what the captain of an army must feel when he takes possession of a city. I would get this feeling of control over the situation. While I’m in my bedroom, alone, I can relax. This is my space. I can control everything in sight. It’s here that no one makes me angry; here I offend no one. I’m alone; at least while my door is closed. I can take a delicious nap, and while my door is closed, no one bothers me, because all the Mommies have warned my grandchildren: “Mimi is taking a nap. While her door is closed, don’t bother her.”

I’m inside my room, with my door closed. And I just expressed my feelings to you.

But what about my little ones? How must they feel when they get to their Mimi’s door, and see it closed? They know that sooner or later that barrier that separates us will be opened, and their Mimi will come out, and they can go in. But in the meantime, they must feel isolated from me, and I from them.

There are other doors in our lives that are invisible. Just like the ones we can see, they can be opened or closed; and we can find ourselves inside, or outside.

1.     

     The door of indifference. As wives, mothers, and grandmothers, and every other relationship a woman can have, at times we have the attitude, “I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me what you think, or what you need, or what you want.” Sometimes being left outside invisible doors is more painful than it is for my grandchildren to be outside my bedroom door. We put barriers between us and those we love most. Our marriages and our homes have turned to ashes because of indifference. We all have problems. We need someone who will listen to us. But more than that…someone who cares about what is causing our pain, our fear, or our grief. Sometimes we simply need someone with whom we can share our joys and victories; our dreams and plans. Put yourself on the other side of the door of indifference that you have closed. What do you feel? Reproach? Rejection? Worthlessness? This is what others feel to whom you have shown indifference. We’re busy women, with pressures that our grandmothers, or even our mothers didn’t have. We don’t have time to sit down with our husband over a cup of coffee, and listen to his plans and his challenges. Our children scream at us: “LISTEN TO ME!” And indifference slams the door in their faces. I believe with all my heart that there are young people who take drugs, because when they came to Mom, wanting to talk and share their fears, they found the door shut in their faces. Mom didn’t care about the relationship with her daughter, because the potatoes were not done, and it was almost dinner time. She was more concerned about folding the laundry, than she was about her son who was silently crying, “Mom, I think I’ve gotten into trouble with some bad friends.” Open the door to your husband; invite your child to come into your space. Slam the door in the face of your appointments, and your weekly lunch with the girls, and keep the door open to your daughter.

2.

     The door of self-centeredness. Perhaps this door is the most difficult to recognize, because it is decorated with flowers and ribbons. Self-centeredness is sly. At times it takes on the form of heroism. But this door is thick; sometimes it’s made of iron. It may even have bars of protection. Inside this door lives the great “Me.” This door even has our name written on the outside, so that everyone can tell who’s inside. Pride and haughtiness reign insidethis door. The one who lives here separates herself from those who are not inside her own circle. Did you know there are other people in this world who do not belong to your family, or to your group of friends, or to your Church?Every week, someone appears at my door, usually a salesman selling things I will never buy; or asking for help I don’t have time to give. And because MY family and MYchildren don’t have a need, I turn them away. Ever have a boy rush up to your car while you’re stopped at a red light, offering to wash your windshield for a dime? They really bother me. They’re annoying. The best remedy for your self-centered closed door? Put yourself in the place of the person outside that door. Better still; put yourself in the place of the mother of that young man who rings your doorbell, wanting to sell you something you don’t need.Did you know he doesn’t really want to sell you something you need? He doesn’t care if you have Internet service or not; or that not one more skillet will fit in your cabinet. He has a need, and the only thing you can think about isYOUR need, and those inside YOUR door.

3.

     The door of self-sufficiency. This door, when it is closed, says to those outside, “I don’t need you. I can do everything.” Let me tell you something that I’ve learned in the 70 years that I’ve lived on this earth: I need people. I will never have too many friends. Every person that God puts in my path can be a blessing to me. Why are we that way? Why do we reject the help of others? By the way, teach your daughters while they’re young to let their brothers help them with the door, or to put on their coats, etc. This is the attitude that prevails today: I can do everything by myself, and I don’t need anyone. How many blessings have we missed because we refused the help and support of others? Just like the door of self-centeredness, inside this door reign self-sufficiency, pride, and haughtiness. We refuse to humble ourselves to the point where we must say, “I can’t do this alone. I need your help.”  Did you know that’s the reason a lot of people reject Christ? Jesus died for our sins. He gave His life on the cross in our place, but you’ve closed the door…the door of self-sufficiency, and you’ve said, “No, thank You. I can be good enough to go to Heaven. Or one of these days I’m going to fix my relationship with God so that He will take me to Heaven when I die. I don’t need the blood of Christ to cover my sins, because I am self-sufficient, and I don’t need a Savior.” Jesus said in John 10:9, “I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved,…” In another passage in Revelation 3:20 the Lord says, “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” Since I’m writing this during the New Year, my personal prayer for myself this year is that I may learn and know more about God than I did last year. The lovely thing is that God also desires that more than I do. He’s ready. What’s more, He’s at the door, and He’s knocking.My Spanish Bible uses the word, “calling.”  What do you think He’s calling out? I imagine He’s saying my name. He’s calling out your name. Do you hear His voice? He will never force open the door. He calls out, but He won’t enter unless you invite Him to come in. And when you do, He’ll have dinner with you, and you’ll have dinner with Him.That means we’ll fellowship with Him. One of the most wonderful ways to get to know someone, and to visit with others is during a meal. Imagine having an invitation from the Lord to go out to dinner! How do we accept that invitation? We accept it by opening the door of our heart to Him; by laying aside our pride, our self-sufficiency, and our self-centeredness. Let me share a secret with you: when you and I open the door to Christ, whether to be saved, or to have fellowship with Him, He helps us to open other doors to our husband, to our children, and to those whom we love most, and who need us.  Have you closed the door to someone? Is someone you love, and who loves you outside that door? What about the Lord Jesus? Have you closed the door of your heart?

Let’s throw open some doors this year, and leave them open!

Prayer Letter - December 2013

“For unto us a child is born,...” Isaiah 9:6

Are you pleased with what you did for the Lord this year? As we end 2013, looking back, I agree with the song writer, “I wish I had given Him more.” But what little I did get to do for the Lord is so satisfying, I hardly know how to begin to tell you.

Counting my blessings is so easy for me: the Lord gave me a darling little granddaughter, Mackenzie Grace, born to David and Jolene Sloan on November 22. “I pray the Lord will use your life in a wonderful way, Precious Princess.”

I’ll never forget the date of this year’s Banquet, which came on the day of Mackenzie’s birth. But besides that, this was the largest Banquet we have ever had, and when Pastor Henry González gave the invitation following the message and the clear plan of Salvation, seven precious ladies lifted their hands for salvation, two being leaders here in our city.

Another unexpected blessing: last year our Church opened a mission in the little town of San Lucas. The Lord seemed to have closed the door, there being no place to hold the services. But the wife of the former mayor there attended the banquet, along with her husband, Don Jorge. At the closing of the banquet, my son, Tommy, asked the mayor to come up on the platform with him. Don Jorge said, “Tonight I promise first God, and then Pastor Thomas, that if you will come back to San Lucas, I will provide a place for you to have services again.” I had personally prayed for San Lucas every morning, even though the door seemed to be closed. I am still rejoicing over answered prayer.

My weekly ladies’ Bible study in Dali’s home around the corner from my house is a blessing to me. One of the ladies who attend is a military wife, and she was able to accompany me to the Military Base here, and visit the General’s wife. And in my last class, a precious lady was saved!

What a joy it was for me to get to attend the first service in Xalapa, Veracruz, on October 6, where my son, Philip and his wife, Liz have started a church. The Lord is opening doors for what is sure to be a thriving work. God has laid a prison ministry on Philip’s heart. I pray every morning for that to be a big part of this new work.

Another first service was held in Berriozabal on November 1. Wilber and his wife Jessica have moved there, and made their home where God called them.

I can’t wait until my next prayer letter to let you know that after I finished this, little Gabriel Robert Joel was born to Philip and Liz on December 12. “Thank you, Lord, for my beautiful 39th grand-treasure!”

And thank you to my children, Ulises and Elizabeth, and the churches under his care for the 53rd Anniversary celebration of my living in México, 46 of those years as a missionary. They arranged for several of my out-of-town children to join in the celebration, and the ones who couldn’t attend called me during the service, while the ushers presented me with beautiful bouquets from each of them.

Undeserving as I am, I am thankful for honors lavished on me, as it shows how much I am loved. Not a word of complaint from you, Sloan, for the rest of your life!

Thankfully yours,

Billie Sloan

Nahum 1:7

Prayer Letter - October 2013

Just when you think your ministry has reached a plateau, the Lord opens another door of service. You will never hear me complaining about that. My hairdresser, who was saved at our Ladies’ Christmas Banquet last year, asked me to start a weekly ladies’ Bible study in her home. Please pray for this precious lady, and for the opportunity for us to serve the Lord together.

Radio Compasión (Compassion Radio) celebrated its First Anniversary on September 4, with an overflow attendance. The men put a tent outside the door, and with the loud speakers, no one missed the service and the message. We are already reaching into Central America.  Please pray for the Lord to provide the money to purchase the transmitter for the new tower addition to the network of Compassion Radio Ministry, located on top of Tzontehuitz Mountain.  I’m no technician by anyone’s standards, but I understand this will extend the broadcasting capacity to double, reaching many more states in México, and even further into Central America. This 24-hour a day ministry is bringing new people into almost every service. My son Tommy has trained a young man in our church, and he has almost completely taken over this amazing ministry.

I love my home, and hate having to leave, even for a few days. But I can’t deny the pleasure it gives me as a missionary/mother to be invited by my children to participate in their ministries. Going to Ixtapa once a month and teaching the ladies’ Sunday school class in Ulises and Elizabeth’s church is such an honor for me.

Philip and Liz are now in Xalapa, Veracruz. Xalapa is a beautiful college town, where Ulises obtained his degree as an architect. But it is also needy for the Gospel. Please pray that the Lord will open the door for them to begin a solid work there.

Our monthly Ladies’ Prayer Breakfasts are mainly for the purpose of praying for the special ladies who will be honored at the Christmas Banquet in November. But the Lord also gives us surprise blessings each month. The mother of Erica, a young lady who died of cancer right after getting saved at our Banquet three years ago, was there for the first time. Please pray for Margarita to soon accept Jesus as her Savior.

Wilber was ordained a couple of weeks ago. He is the young man whom I mentioned in my last prayer letter. The Lord has laid it on his and his wife, Jessica’s hearts to start a new work about two hours from here.

We are in count-down mode as it is about a month away from our annual Ladies’ Christmas Banquet, November 22. Lots to do, but everything seems to fall into place every year in time for this special event. Please keep that evening in your prayers.

I know I’ll have to edit some things out of this letter, because of its length, but it won’t be our service last Sunday. As part of Tommy’s birthday celebration, he invited the orphans who participate in our Banquet every year. Their pastor preached, and shared the tragic, incredible stories of some of the children. I listened through tears and was moved beyond words at the amazing work Pastor Carlos and his wife, Yara are doing with these precious children. I certainly want to have a part in this fruitful ministry.

Thank you for having a part in mine.

Billie Sloan

Nahum 1:7

"Windows"

I wrote this back in February, and I still need this lesson as much as I did back then...

“I made a covenant with mine eyes;”

Job 31:1

This morning, I’m enjoying my favorite time of the year. Here in my little town, in the month of February, we begin to enjoy the loveliest season, when we’re saying “Good Bye” to the cold winter days. When I get up in the mornings, I love opening the windows of my house. But I’ve noticed something here lately: they’re a little dirty. It’s time for me to begin my routine spring cleaning.

God has given us “windows.” What’s more, He’s put them in our bodies. They’re our eyes, and our ears. All kinds of information and knowledge enter through these “windows” of ours. People who are deaf or blind need to use different methods so that these “cloudy windows” can allow entrance to information and knowledge.

Have you ever considered how little control we have over these “windows” of our body? For example, maybe in your home you don’t listen to worldly music; it could be that you are careful with what you watch on TV. But if you go to the mall, and there is wild music playing there that isn’t pleasing to God, you can’t avoid its entering into your ears. Although we can close our eyes, at times there are images that suddenly pass before our eyes unexpectedly, leaving an unforgettable impression.

There’s a children’s chorus that goes something like this, “Be careful little eyes what you see…Be careful little ears what you hear…” Actually, that children’s song could be a prayer for us ladies. Just as the Psalmist David says in Psalm 141:3, “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips,” it would be a good idea to do what Job did with his eyes in Job 31:1, “I made a covenant with mine eyes;”

Has it ever occurred to you how many images enter the windows of our eyes every hour? What we do with those images is what’s important. While there are things we can’t control, we can control the way we react to those images.

What do you do with the things you hear? While we can close the windows of our eyes, or look the other way, at times we have no control over the things that enter into the windows of our ears. By the way, have you noticed in the past months how many people use earphones? Could it be because they’re so considerate of others that they don’t want to be a bother? Or is it because they don’t want others to hear what they’re listening to? For example, ever seen anyone in Wal-Mart, or in line at the bank, or behind the wheel of a car talking and talking as if they were talking to themselves? No. They put these things into their ears, or hook them around them, so they don’t have to use their hands. That way they can drive without putting others in danger. Or they can load their shopping cart and talk at the same time on their phone. Those are just some observations I’ve made perhaps because I’m a little behind the times in modern technology. It still looks strange to me to see kids…and adults…be-bopping to the sound of nothing.

Through the windows of our eyes and our ears we receive much more information than we did ten or twenty years ago. That’s why we need to care for them more than before; we need to keep them cleaner.  It may even take more work, more time to be careful of what goes in.

I.                    The window of our ears. Now, it’s obvious that we should do certain basics to keep this window clean. You and I can control what we watch on TV, or inappropriate glances at men. But what about what you see on the Internet? I thank the Lord for modern technology, and what little I know about using it. But I must watch the time I spend in front of my computer screen. Usually, if you see me sitting at my computer (by the way, I’m writing this on a program called “Windows”) it’s because I’m working. 90% of my ministry consists of preparing lessons and answering e-mails. I have to discipline myself to turn on my computer. Sometimes when I’m going to make a short weekend Conference trip, I give myself a little vacation, and leave my laptop at home, because it represents my work, besides the fact that it’s a hassle to get it through airport security. There is a very well-known Web Site on the Internet where you can go and know, let’s say, what your friend on the other side of the world is doing at that precise moment. And double blessing if she’s your daughter or he’s your son! But I’m afraid that ladies who would never watch a soap opera, will spend time chatting, sharing gossip, instead of caring for her responsibilities as wife and mother. While I thank the Lord for this marvelous method of communicating, I’m afraid we know too much. My husband always said, “The less I know about someone, the better.” I sometimes think we ladies suffer illnesses that ten, twenty years ago, we didn’t even know existed. I’m amazed at the intelligence of some women. I was married to a pediatrician for 35 years, and I don’t know half the diseases my friends know, because they’ve investigated symptoms, remedies, and causes of diseases I’ve never even heard of. We know too much for our own good about things, even though maybe they’re important, or they don’t affect us, or maybe they do, but what do we gain by knowing them? What can we do to change them? The information we gain over the Internet worries us, stresses us out, and lets us know about things we’ll never be able to change. While I’m all for wisdom, and caring for our health, and going to the dentist twice a year, eating nutritious food, resting, etc.; and I agree that we should never ignore abnormal symptoms, we are traumatized by all this accumulation of knowledge. Supposedly the Internet should be a relaxing activity. But how many things did you see over the Internet today that brought you peace? Did something you see make you want to read your Bible more, or love your husband more, or be more faithful to church and to your responsibilities? Sometimes when I go to my computer I pray, “Lord, please don’t let me get any frightening news.” Be careful of the time you spend in front of your computer on the Internet. The windows of our eyes see things that cause covetousness. How easy it is to go shopping today without even leaving our home, without going to the bank to withdraw money, or even getting dressed! With one Click, we can put products in our shopping cart that if we had to go out, or hand over dollar bills, we would never purchase. We reserve tickets, hotels, cars, and cruises. All these details that I’ve observed about the Internet, we women who are in ministry are doing, the same as wives of laymen; women of affluence, as well as the college student who can barely pay her tuition. Technology has reached the most remote corners of the world. The culture where I live consists of Indians, farmers, simple people. But it’s very rare to see an Indian without a cell phone, and even cell phones have Internet access. By the way, do you know what your children are seeing in the messages they send and receive? Have you noticed that one of the qualities of the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 is that she watches over her family? Protect your children from things they shouldn’t see. While you are responsible for their physical growth and care while they’re small, you are also responsible for their spiritual growth if they still live in your house. Protect your husband. In Proverbs 31, the Virtuous Woman protects her family. Verses 15, 18, 21, and 27 suggest that she watches over her family. We see phrases like “She riseth also while it is yet night…” “her candle goeth not out by night.” “…all her household are clothed with scarlet.” “and eateth not the bread of idleness.” These phrases tell us that she gets up early, and at times she stays up late. She’s concerned about the security of her family, and she’s not lazy. The Virtuous Lady of Proverbs cares for and protects her loved ones. I believe that if she lived in our days she would protect her husband and her children from cursing, and blaspheming, and music that dishonors God.  Our eyes are the windows which allow things to enter that affect our minds. Ask the Lord to put His angels around them.

II.                  The window of our ears. Perhaps this window is much harder to protect than the one of our eyes. It’s possible to close our eyes, or look the other way to avoid harmful things from entering. But what about our ears? Even though we might cover them up, we can’t completely avoid cursing, gossip, and jokes that might dishonor God, negative comments about our pastor, or music that is displeasing to the Lord. So, the only thing we can do is to be careful of the way we respond to these negative entries through the window of our ears. The sad thing is that many times they enter without warning. A few weeks ago I was on a plane. We were waiting to get off, and there was a group of men standing in the aisle beside my seat. They had visited my state here in Mexico. I’m ashamed to say that they were Americans. They were making inappropriate comments in English about the women here. There was absolutely nothing I could have done so that those comments didn’t enter the window of my ears. Perhaps they thought no one on the plane spoke English; but it’s most likely that they didn’t care if they offended bilingual ladies who were sitting close by. I have gotten on public transportation that had the radio on to a station that played English songs. The driver didn’t even know what the lyrics said. On occasions I’ve asked the driver to turn off the music, because it was offensive to me, and I didn’t want my teenage daughters who were with me to hear it. We should protest when it’s possible, as the Virtuous Lady would have done, to protect our windows, and those of our family. But besides the negative things that we can’t avoid, I’d like to focus on those we can control. For example, what do you do when a friend or a lady in the church comes to you with a bit of gossip? How can we respond to someone who starts to criticize our pastor, or our husband? Are you like a sponge, ready to absorb every drop of the delicious bad things of an acquaintance, or a friend? When someone starts to criticize the pastor, or his wife, do you jump at the chance to deposit your juicy news that you’ve been saving for just the right moment like this? What should we do when someone comes to us and starts criticizing or gossiping? There are three things we can do:

A)     Go get the person who is being criticized

B)      Defend her/him

C)      Turn around and leave the presence of the person who is putting garbage in the windows of your ears.

It is a wise woman who protects her eyes and her ears from material impurities. But even wiser that woman who protects the windows of the eyes and ears of impurities, not only her own, but also those of her husband and her children.

So come on, ladies, and do some spring cleaning with me, starting with our windows.

Prayer Request List for Ladies' Banquet

PRAYER REQUEST LIST FOR OUR 15^TH ANNUAL

LADIES’ CHRISTMAS BANQUET

November 22, 2013

1. Wisdom and discernment in all the plans and decisions to be made.

2. Extra strength for the girls and me as we plan and make preparations.

3. For the wife of our City Mayor to be able to attend, as well as First Ladies of neighboring towns.

4. For the wives of the former mayors, and military wives to be able to attend. 

5. For extra finances for the cost of the Banquet, Hotel reservations, and plane reservation for our guest speaker.

6. Preparation of the special music, and choice of each song.

7. For our guest speaker, Henry González, as he prepares his message for the evening, and for liberty as he preaches.                               

8. For the Hotel staff to be reached with the Gospel.

9. That the Lord would prepare the hearts of the ladies who will be attending, and for many to be saved, who will be an influence to others.  We have had ladies saved in every banquet for the past twelve years, including four former First Ladies, and three military wives.

Note:  This Banquet is an annual affair, and will be attended by ladies, who for the most part are unsaved, and who either because of religious preferences, or pressures from home, do not attend our Church.  The Lord laid these dear ladies on my heart several years ago, and I am as burdened for them as I am for the ladies in my Sunday School Class.

Billie Sloan

Nahum 1:7

Prayer Letter - August 2013

Greetings from the little town of Ixtapa, where my husband and I lived back in the 70’s for five years. It’s interesting how life makes a full circle: after 35 years, here I am again, but this time visiting the work of my son in law, Ulises Martínez, and my daughter Elizabeth. The only thing I’ve observed that is keeping this work from growing more is the lack of funds. I’m investing money into this work, and I feel like I’m a part of it, although I live an hour up the mountain from here. My investment just keeps drawing more and more “dividends” in souls being saved, and men being trained by Ulises. Daily, almost hourly, he disciples them in everything from constructing a children’s home, to preaching in the courtyard of hospitals, to conducting services at the wake of a young man who was killed two days ago. (Five adults were saved when the invitation was given.) He meets with them at the church every morning for 5:00 prayer meeting, and then teaches them doctrine and homiletics. He is truly building men of character.

But I suppose you would like to know what his mother in law has been doing for the Lord. The month of June ended my travels for the year, as I taught seven ladies’ sessions in the Family Conference of Fires of Evangelism in Bartlett, Indiana, Pastor Elmer Fernández. I had such a good time with my 15 year-old granddaughter, Karla. It was her first time to fly, and we experienced everything from canceled flights, feeling a strong tremor in the middle of the night from our hotel in Mexico City (earthquake city), and almost turning over in a storm right before landing in Tuxtla. But we truly made unforgettable memories, and she was a blessing beyond words to her Mimi.

The week we returned, I got to go to Tuxtla, the capitol of our state, and was honored to teach a group of dear ladies in the Leadership Conference of missionary Dan Morris. He and his wife, Debbie, are friends of many, many years. Their beautiful daughter, Christina, is a vital part of their ministry now, as she is serving alongside her parents.

Our prayer breakfasts in June and July were well attended, with new ladies in each meeting. What a blessing to have my daughter, Elizabeth, as our guest speaker in July.

Last weekend, I attended the first anniversary service of the church in Nueva Maravilla across town, that Pastor Rodolfo, and his son, Wilber started. When the invitation was given, I was able to lead Paty, a 12 year-old girl to the Lord. It truly is a “Maravilla” (marvel) what the Lord has done. They have several adults, and a fine group of young people who form a choir. During the service, Wilber had me stand with another lady. He said, “I want you ladies to see the result of your labors tonight.” He reminded Micaela and me that this church actually began from the children’s ministry we helped to start. Micaela donated benches, and would bring treats for the children. We had the Saturday morning classes outside under a tent, and Wilber told of the time they had to lay down boards and tiles for me to walk on, and stand on while I taught and played my accordion when it rained. You never know where the small things you do will lead! Be faithful, Sunday school teachers and Moms!

Please begin to pray for our November 22 Ladies’ Christmas Banquet. Our guest speaker this year will be Henry González. He and his wife, Tammie, who is my niece, are missionaries in the country of El Salvador.

Your friend,

Billie Sloan

Nahum 1:7

MY KIDS AND ME - Chapter 17

“When I was a Child”

Are you young enough to remember the details of your childhood? Well, I’m sure there are few ladies reading this book who are older than I am. But I can still remember vivid details of my childhood. I’ve never studied up on this, but I wonder why there are minute details of when I was a child that are as vivid as though they had happened yesterday.

I have a picture in my mind of the sandals my cousin, Becky had when I wasn’t yet 5 years old. I can close my eyes and see the green, red, yellow and blue straps; and I liked them so much that just before my Uncle Paul pulled out of the drive after their visit, she took them off and gave them to me.

I can remember what it felt like to crawl up into my “Mammie’s” lap…the name everyone called my maternal grandmother…and the security of hearing her heartbeat as she held me close, and rocked me to sleep in her squeaky rocking chair. I couldn’t possibly have been more than four.

I remember smells…and sounds…and verses I quoted in a Christmas play. I remember the face of my first grade teacher, and the name of the little boy who got me in trouble by passing me “love” notes.

And I remember feelings I had…when I was a child.

I remember feelings of love, and fun, and excitement.

I remember joy over seeing my baby brother for the first time, and I remember getting my first reader…both on the same day!

But I also remember negative feelings… I remember the feeling of almost terror the day I missed the school bus; and the wonderful sight of Granddaddy waiting for me in the drive when my teacher drove me home; the feeling of regret when I would disobey; anger when my brother wouldn’t help me with the dinner dishes; sadness the day Granddaddy died; fear when seeing “Santa Claus” walk into our living room on Christmas Eve, even though he was a neighbor everyone called “Heavy.”

But perhaps the greatest emotion carried over from when I was a child is this feeling of rejection…this outside feeling.

Ever felt left out of things? Do you ever feel like you’re not young enough, or old enough, or good enough? There are few feelings as strong as those of not feeling accepted. We all want to be loved and admired and included.

When I was a child, I was a preacher’s kid. Back in the 50’s, that wasn’t the respectable position it is today. I can remember hearing so many times the cutting words, “Oh, you can’t do this, because you’re a preacher’s kid.” I wanted to run away, even though Daddy would comfort me by saying, “Being a preacher’s kid doesn’t mean you can’t do certain things…if you were a deacon’s kid, or a mechanic’s kid, it still wouldn’t be right for you to participate in those activities.”

But this is a book about MY kids…and me. What did I learn from them regarding being left outside?

I have a son whose birth order is right in the middle of four girls. And just to add to his misery, he is the youngest of four boys. Because of this, he was too little…or so his three brothers thought…to be included in their activities. He didn’t want to be included in the activities of little girls. So talk about being outside! He should be writing this chapter!

Do you have a child in a difficult position because of his birth order, or her size? Or maybe it’s their lack of the ability to achieve.

Well, this is not a book of advice on how to raise children, is it? Remember my promise to you at the first of the book?

But looking back, if there is something I could observe, as if floating on a cloud above my life back then, and if I could have shouted down some words of advice learned over more than ten years of my non-child-rearing days, it would be the same advice I would give to anyone coping with feelings of “not good enough, or old enough, or young enough, or brave enough.”

Learn to accept.

Isn’t that simple? Learn to accept yourself and others, whether it’s your sister in law, or your 15 year-old son.

God does. We are “accepted in the beloved,” aren’t we?

Always trying to change your hubby? Well, neither is this a marriage manual, but are there attitudes toward your husband that sometimes make him feel like he’s outside your circle of activities, or friends or family?

I believe if I could go back over my life, thinking of all my relationships, not just as a Mom, but as a wife, a sister, a mother in law, I would be more accepting. Even now, there are people in my life I wish I could change…not exchange; but I find myself wishing they were more considerate; or more involved in certain activities; or less aggressive; or not so demanding of my time.

I wish they didn’t complain as much; I wish they were more outgoing; I wish their hair was shorter; I wish they wouldn’t take themselves so seriously.

That pretty much sums up my attitude of an almost-lifetime.

How sad!

Makes me wonder how many hours of enjoyment I’ve missed.

I don’t want to spend another day wishing for changes. I want to “…put away childish things,” and accept others just the way they are…

just the way God does me.

“To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.”…

Ephesians 1:6